Saddam Hussein was hanged the first week of January of 2007 at 10 pm EST.
"Well, Steve, did they$%:"
"Yes, a few minutes ago. It's done and gone, thank God!"
Recent examples:
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"Did they check the Tikrit residence for the papers$%:'
"Yes but nothing was found. Don and Dick are pestering me to try every other palace and even the homes of his chauffeur, dance instructor, hairdresser and dentist"
"I must know. John Bake is coming out with a book on the US-Saddam plot against Iran, where too many details are revealed. We'll look like the proverbial manure!'
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He shook his head and turned his attention to his 'stay the course', 'surge' and 'victory' files. After an hour, he decided to go upstairs and share a pretzel with the First Lady.
"George, I guess you, Dick, Don, Condi, Paul and Grouch Bolton will be able to sleep well now that Saddam Hussein has gone to his own Walhalla. Right$%:"
"Wrong, First Lady! Saddam could not obtain clearance to enter Wallhalla, which, in case you forgot, is a Norse paradise where warriors, led by handsome Walkirias are housed so that they can carouse and rest from the fatigues of war."
"One in your favor, my Leader. Be that as it may, Saddam and his secrets is no longer around so that a nosy reporter can ask him some embarrassing questions about his intimate relations with the US in the eighties. Seems your colleagues were involved in that great farce and continued it when you invaded Iraq. Am I right, George$%: Even if I am confused about the damned Norses$%:"
The President seemed a bit taken aback, if not embarrassed, upon hearing the First Lady's words. He quickly reached for a pretzel and took a healthy bite. Pretzels, as we all know, provide not only taste but more important, they introduce a relaxed atmosphere to any meeting or discussion. He shook his head and replied:
"Yes, we more or less hired Saddam Hussein during the war between Iraq and Iran. We had, at the time, a very special animosity toward the Ayatollahs and Saddam was the closest gun for hire we could find in the vicinity. It was a period when the Western powers began to realize the importance of petroleum in the coming years and wanted to get their hands on some of the hefty profits that were made in the oil game."
"Just as I though, War President. What you just said confirms the old saying about oil; 'You can love, you can toil, but neither love, nor kisses can beat the joys of oil!"
The President laughed politely and continued:
"We had tried to enlist Hussein in Jordan, the old Hassan in Syria, the Egyptians, the Lebanese and even the Turks. No one wanted to go after the Iranians. Except Saddam Hussein. You just had to assure him that Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries would stay out of the fight."
"Who was involved in all this$%:"
"There is along list. Keep in mind that Saddam committed crimes of all kinds and degrees and was considered a serious threat not only to his neighbors but also to the entire Middle East. His anti-Israel feelings were well known and helped him recruit fighters from all over. He had to be dealt with"
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"Yes, we all know that, Mister President. But why us$%: How about the other 77 tyrants in the world$%: The Irish Mafia$%: The Cosa Nostra$%: The Atlanta Braves$%: Comedy Central$%: In the case of Saddam, it would have taken few months to get him to pack and take the first flight out of Baghdad and we would have saved billions of dollars and more important, the lives and well being of more than 30,000 of our young people. Was it so important to you to become a 'War President$%:"
"Cynicism and satire will get you nowhere, First Lady. Socrates said more than once that 'you must scratch if it itches and that you must destroy your fears it they park in your doorstep'"
"Socrates$%:"
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